You might fall, do it anyway!

We took our annual trip to Ormond Beach over Spring Break. My boys love to take me into the ocean. They think it's funny to see me scream each time the water hits me. Other than this sick fascination of seeing how I'm going to react, there's something sweet about them wanting me to share in the experience.

The water can be pretty cold and rough in this area. Every day I made a point of getting in and this is no easy task! My MS affects the right side of my body. My hand has little strength and my leg and foot are like limp noodles with very little functioning. My husband would give me a piggy back ride down to our favorite spot. People jumped in to help and I joked that it takes a village to get me to the beach. Then, I hobbled down to the water with my son and the real adventure began.

I stopped getting pedicures years ago because when someone or something touches my foot, my leg goes into a spasm and it takes on a mind of its own. After I kicked the lady giving me that last pedicure, who had no idea what MS was even after I told her, I decided ugly toes weren't all that bad. So, when the cold water hits my feet, I scream and my leg goes into a spasm. It's a little bit of torture. So why the heck do it? Well, for a few reasons. One, my boys love to see me in the water. Two, I'm fascinated by how my body responds. Three, once I'm totally submerged it gets better. And lastly, in a weird kind of way, although it's a little scary and even a little painful, it's fun!

The first few days weren't too bad. But our last day at the beach the waters were very rough. The surfers were out in full force that morning and the waters remained pretty rough throughout the day. I watched my family as I sat there soaking up Vitamin D from the sun (Vitamin D is very good for MS but heat isn't - hmm??). I had this conversation in my head and sometimes my thoughts would seep out into words so my husband could hear them. "Oh, I don't know, I really want to go out there, it looks fun but it looks really rough, I think I'll skip today . . . Oh no, maybe I'll try it . . . no, I better not. . . maybe if I had a life jacket . . . nah, I'll just people watch today . . . but I sure want a little piece of the action . . . it looks fun . . . kind of fun . . . maybe not that fun . . . some people really shouldn't wear string bikinis . . . geesh . . . oh look at that water . . . wouldn't my son be impressed if his mom went out there in this crazy water . . . but I might make a fool of myself . . . well, it wouldn't be the first time . . . oh I'm going to do it . . . nah, no I'm not." This conversation went on for probably over an hour and then I said it out loud. I said it, and I meant it: "let's do it, let's go in the ocean."

So yea, going into the ocean is fun. Going into the crazy rough ocean with only one functioning leg, hilarious! We crept down to the water. The water hit my toes and I squealed at the initial shock of the cold water. I held onto my husband for dear life. We were taking the boogie board so that I could use it in the deeper waters. I used the boogie board in my left hand to keep me steady and I held onto Greg with my right hand. We began making our way into the ocean when the first big wave hit and the boogie board was knocked out of my hand. Oh no! Greg had to get the boogie board and he would have to let go of me. But I didn't want to fall. Well, it would only be for a few seconds. Greg let go and lunged for the boogie board but right then the wave hit me and bam, I went down! I was laughing hysterically and Greg didn't even know yet. He turned around and asked me what happened. He then tried to pull me up and another wave hit. Now we were both laughing. I couldn't get up. The waves were rushing in one after another. He finally got me up and the boogie board went flying again. Oh Lord! What to do? He says: "don't fall, I'll be right back!" Okay, feet wide a part, steady. I made it this time! I'm sure we made for some good people watching!

We made our way out to the deeper waters. The waves were unforgiving and I got pretty beat up. Greg got into a routine of holding my feet while I laid on the board and rode the waves. I even rode a couple of waves all the way in. It was a blast. Scary! Oh, so scary! But fun! I fell. I got beat up a little. But I lived and it was exhilarating.

So what's holding you back? I was scared but I did it anyway. I'm not always that brave BUT today I was. I'm glad I made that choice to go in the ocean. How about you? What are you going to do despite that little voice? Go for it!