Is Your Treasure in The Trash?

Ever heard the saying "if Mom can't find it, no one can?" It drives me nuts when I can't find something. I'm an organized person for that reason! But sometimes things fall through the cracks. My son lost his driver's license and we had to go to the DMV to replace it. One of my least favorite places to go!

Once the new license came in the mail I opened the envelope and put it off to the side. Later when I went to give it to him, it was nowhere to be found. I looked EVERYWHERE five times! Like the 5th time it would magically appear. Early on it dawned on me that perhaps when I was sorting the junk mail from the real mail that it made it's way into the junk mail pile and maybe I threw it away. That awful feeling kept nudging at me. Ugh! I would rather look through the trash than go back to the DMV. I was desperate. I asked my husband if he would get the trash from outside the house so I could search it. He warned me about how awful it would be because we had shrimp shells in that trash bag. Okay, I'll keep looking. I looked and looked and looked. Finally at 11 pm, knowing the license would be taunting me in my sleep, I asked my husband to get the trash. I put on some rubber gloves and pulled out the bag where I thought it might be found (if it were in there - this was a long shot). I sat down on the step in the garage and opened the bag. A terrible smell immediately escaped and I turned my head in disgust. But I looked on with delight because there was a pile of junk mail right there on top. Maybe I would get lucky. And I did! I pulled out the stack and pulled two items apart that were stuck together by some old gum, yuck! and then the very next item was a white envelope with the driver's license. I excitedly pushed myself up and limped back into the house as quickly as I could and announced I had found it!

Here's the metaphor I'm working on . . . Sometimes we want something so bad it hurts. We will look for it repeatedly in all the wrong places. No matter what, no matter how many times I checked all of those places where it "should" have been, it wasn't going to be there. The little voice kept saying to check the most unlikely place. The nasty trash bag full of shrimp shells that had been outside for a couple of days! It was right there all along. It wasn't even hidden. I just didn't want to look there.

I would have saved several hours of heartache if I had just followed my gut and gone where I didn't want to go. Sometimes we have to go to the trash (the not so pretty places) to find what we're looking for in life. Wow! I wonder what other treasures I'll find by finally plunging into the not so pretty places? When I'm willing to go there, I usually even find a few treasures in this stinkin' disease called MS. How about you? What treasures might you find in your not so pretty places?


(OR maybe the point is I would rather do anything, even go dumpster diving, than go to the Department of Motor Vehicles!)

Bike MS Atlanta 2012 - A Big Success!

Team Marj @ Large at the start

Bike MS Rides are held all over the country. It's a two day bike ride organized to raise money for the MS Society. The Atlanta Ride is always a blast! Our team, Team Marj @ Large had 75 registered riders and about 60 who actually rode. So far we've raised about $45,000 for the MS Society, Georgia Chapter. Most importantly, I'm pretty sure everyone had fun! We are experts at that!

My family rode for me! They've been riding for me for eight years.

This was our 8th year participating in the Atlanta Ride. We look forward to this event every September. Above you will see my family who rides every year. I'm so proud of them. I use to ride but my right leg isn't functioning at this time. Damn you MS! But I'm riding in spirit. I can't believe it's been four years since we were written up in Georgia Magazine. Take a look at the article. It still applies today.

Group who just finished the 104 miles on Saturday. 

I'm so proud of all these riders who travel to be a part of this awesome weekend. It's a big commitment! Some have been doing this ride for 17 years! Before I had even heard of this stinkin' disease!

Bunch of teammates who came into the finish together on Sunday. 

Most of the team gathers on Sunday's ride and comes into the finish together. It's always very touching. When I use to ride, I couldn't help the tears from flowing as we crossed the finish line together. I love my team and everyone at this event. It's very special to me.

Camping area at Bike MS

Our family camped this year in the FREE designated camping area at the Bike MS Ride. It was our first time doing this. We really enjoyed being at the event the whole weekend (except the 6:50 am wake up call with the event music blaring non-stop). Really, I could write a blog just on camping with MS. It's amusing! But thanks to my scooter it all turned out fine. I was able to scooter over to the shower house right on the lake and back to the campsite and then to our Team Marj @ Large tent. I was a little sore on Monday but nothing a trip to the chiropractor can't fix! BTW - my chiropractor actually attended the event and his wife rode. Love them so much!

Thanks for another great year! Thank you to the MS Society for putting on such an amazing event! Thank you MS Cycling for the camaraderie! Thank you to all our donators and sponsors! Thank yo to all our volunteers! Most importantly, thank you to my team! Team Marj @ Large is a great team who ride hard with big hearts. I love you dearly. 

Bark, Bark . . Marjorie's Fallen in The Well

Meet Glory. She's our big black dog - maybe an Australian Shepherd mix. She's pretty awesome but when it comes to helping me with MS, well, let's just say being a service dog is not her calling.

I'm pretty sure Glory has some kind of radar that tells her to go to the exact location where I plan to walk and block my path. I can't lift my right leg over her and she stares at me like "what? what's your problem?" Then when I ask her nicely to move she makes such a commotion. "I hate to be such a hassle but can I get by?" 

My lapdog

Glory and Christofer are the ultimate bed warmers

Can you see her?

My balance has been better lately but my mobility still stinks. This leads to frequent falls. Yesterday I was home alone and making lunch. I was walking back to the fridge with my hands full. Glory was sprawled out in the middle of the kitchen floor. My left leg moved forward thinking my right leg was moving forward to balance things out. But that wasn't the case. Right leg didn't get the memo and was still hanging back and there I went. Oh crap! Here goes another fall. Timber. . .  Catch yourself, roll into it, don't break anything. Splat onto the floor! The container of strawberries fell and strawberries went rolling all over the kitchen floor. Glory jumped up and stared at me like "what the hell are you doing?" No "bark, bark Marjorie's fallen in the well" no attempt to comfort or console me. No whimpering. Just a look of "Are you crazy? Now get your tail up and pick up that mess?"

The only real casualty was a large strawberry squashed under my butt. That's nice. Good thing I was wearing black pants. Nothing too serious. Just a few bruises. By this time Christofer the cat had joined Glory as they watched me crawl around on all fours gathering strawberries. I'm glad I could provide some entertainment for my pets.

After dusting myself off, I escaped to my computer for a bit and who was in my chair but Christofer.

Um, Christofer, can I have my chair?

Well, sometimes they're a pain but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world!

If a tree falls in the forest . . . If Marjorie falls in the kitchen . .  at least my four legged friends heard it! 

Post CCSVI - How are you feeling now?

It's a week after my CCSVI procedure. The question of the day is of course, how are you feeling? I'm great! Well, I'm not running marathons and mountain biking but I'm great.

Marjorie after Atlanta Marathon Pre-MS

Beast of the East Adventure Race - Not quite ready for this.

Transition at Beast of the East Pre-MS - Yea, I was a B.A. despite what my kids think.

 I'm still hopeful! Well, not hopeful for extreme sports again. I'm hopeful for extreme contentment for a better quality of life. How about that? Extreme Contentment! Let's all give that a try.

Yep, I'm not doing cartwheels and walking is still a huge struggle but I am bubbling with excitement over the little things. I'm experiencing ever so slight improvements in lifting my right leg and the incontinence issues that are oh so common with MS have improved a tad, my thinking is more clear, I'm feeling slightly more stable, I'm able to stand for longer periods of time, I'm having less spasticity, I'm able to bend my right knee a little more and I have a tad more strength in my right hand.

Here's an example, I haven't been put on a necklace in probably two + years. I have put on my favorite necklace the last four days. Why? Because I can! And it's pretty.

Also, I've been typing all day. Usually my hand gives out after about 30 minutes to an hour. These are all very small improvements but the doctor said it could take a month or two to see results. I'm cherishing the improvements and thanking God all day long and holding on to more improvements.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. God works through all situations and it's tangible how God is at work. I'm blessed and extremely grateful.


*Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency (CCSVI) - Go to this website for more info: http://ccsvi.org/

Chicago or Bust - Day Three CCSVI Treatment

Today was day three and our last day in Chicago. We shuttled down to the appointment and met with the doctor. He did an ultra-sound to make sure everything was flowing correctly. Everything looked good. He gave me a prescription for a blood thinner and physical therapy and sent me on my way. CCSVI - check!

Now, for some sight seeing.

We took a taxi down to the Pier and went for an Architectural and Historical Cruise of downtown Chicago. It was amazing. I was a little tired and the heat got to me a little but I'm glad we had a chance to be tourist.

Marjorie after the tour.

Betsy after the tour.

One last thought about traveling with MS. The airlines have been very accommodating over the years when flying. I appreciate the effort they give for people in need of wheel chairs and special needs. One might think I like this part because I get to skip all of the long lines and hassles. But I want to be very clear. While I am very appreciative to have this service, I would trade it in a heartbeat for standing in extremely long lines. The next time you find yourself frustrated by the long lines and hassles of airports, stop, and thank God for the ability to stand in that line. What a gift!

I am blessed to have so many caring people who sent prayers and lots of love my way during our trip to Chicago. From the bottom of my heart, I am humbled and lifted up.


*Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency (CCSVI) - Go to this website for more info: http://ccsvi.org/

Chicago or Bust - Day Two CCSVI Treatment

No makeup. No food. No water. We made our way over to the hospital for the long anticipated CCSVI procedure. I've been intrigued with this procedure for the last three years and I was finally taking the plunge.

I felt confident going into the procedure because I had done my research, the medical staff seemed highly qualified and more importantly I felt the love, support and prayers from so many people.

Thumbs Up! CCSVI Day

After a while, Dr. Arslan's Physician Assistant came by to check on me. She asked if I had any questions and I said no. She smiled and said "I didn't think so, patients who come for the CCSVI procedure are the most well informed patients we have." I chuckled.

I finally made my way into the procedure room. It was awesome! Right out of a TV show. I wish I had my camera. There was a small window that allowed sunshine to enter the room. There was heavy equipment everywhere and an extremely nice staff preparing the way.  They were still talking about the case before mine where they saved someone's leg from amputation. I knew there was a good reason for the delay in my procedure! They sterilized the whole room covering all of the equipment and me with special plastic.  I got a fancy shave and then my cocktail. Mmm. . . dreamland. Only I wasn't asleep. I was awake and even participated during the procedure.

They come in through the groin area and work their way up to the jugular veins. The venogram showed stenosis in the left jugular vein and axygous vein and very little in the right jugular. They did the balloon angioplasty in all three veins and then sent me on my way. I was in recovery for a couple of hours to monitor for blood clotting.

Hours after the procedure I was already showing some very subtle changes. I felt less foggy in the head, I didn't have to rush to the bathroom after drinking three cups of cranberry juice, when I walked I could lift my foot and bend my right leg ever so slightly. I felt very thankful and hopeful.


*Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency (CCSVI) - Go to this website for more info: http://ccsvi.org/

Chicago or Bust Series - Day One CCSVI Adventure

My sister Betsy and I had a great trip to Chicago for my CCSVI medical procedure! We met at the airport and took a taxi to our hotel conveniently located across from Rush Hospital. First lesson in Chicago - taxi drivers don't mess around. We learned it was a $50 fee if you threw up in the taxi (glad that didn't happen) and that the medical procedure may be irrelevant given the taxi drivers seemed to have a death wish!

After checking into the hotel we were off to my first appointments: the doppler ultrasound and consultation with Dr. Arslan. The hotel had a shuttle but I wanted to see if I could do it on foot since we were just across the street, or so we thought! We ventured off to the first intersection and made the decision which way to cross first. Negotiating an intersection when you're disabled takes on a whole new meaning. The light changed, the walk signal illuminated and cars were everywhere. Let the race begin! Hobble, hurry, lift and drag, lift and drag . . hurry, it's counting down . . 5, 4, 3, . . we made it! Barely.  And that was just the first crossing. The professional building was much further down and involved two more crossings. The entire situation was so funny we had to stop several times for laughing breaks.

Dr. Arslan is the head of the Interventional Radiology Department at Rush and is in high demand. We waited for a couple of hours for him to arrive. In the mean time, we got a little goofy. 

Marjorie & Betsy get silly waiting for the doctor.

Notice I wore my lucky cockroach belt. More waiting.

Once Dr. Arslan arrived and we talked for a while, I knew he was worth the wait. I told him one of my cockamamie theories of why I thought I had a "vascular" issue and he looked at me politely and nodded not realizing I have a bizarre sense of humor.

He was full of great information and I'm not qualified to properly relay the medical details but for those of you with Multiple Sclerosis who may be considering this treatment I'll throw out a few things that come to mind.

1. Over 30,000 people with MS have now had this procedure world-wide. It's not a cure and it's not a sure thing. From Dr. Arslan's experience, approximately 1/3 will have significant results, 1/3 will have some results and 1/3 won't notice much of anything. Additionally, the procedure may have to be repeated after about 18+ months.

2. He is a very busy doctor and originally did the ccsvi treatment for someone he knew. He doesn't advertise doing the procedure because quite frankly it's a "headache" due to the controversy surrounding it. He does the same procedure about three times a day for other conditions. It's been done for years without any of the scientific studies being required for treating MS. He was very careful and upfront about what to expect and discussed in great detail the couple of cases that have reported problems and what they know now to prevent those problems from occurring again (about 3% of the 30,000 cases). He's personally done about 300 ccsvi procedures and has been involved with about 500. The doctor who he replaced at Rush also did the CCSVI procedure so the medical team was very experienced.

3. I was impressed with his bedside manners by thoroughly explaining the procedure, asking me questions about my experience with MS, testing my strength, and not being in a hurry.

After the appointment, we wised up and called for the shuttle.

We ventured to Little Italy for an amazing last meal at DaVanti Enoteca. It was a quaint local restaurant with amazing food!

Betsy at DaVanti Enoteca after a great meal.

Once back at the hotel, I gathered up all of my prayers and Bible verses and words of encouragement that I printed off. I read over them several times, tucked them under my pillow and called it a night.




*Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency (CCSVI) - Go to this website for more info:  http://ccsvi.org/

What does fear look like?

This week I'm going to Chicago for a long awaited medical procedure. I woke up this morning and let fear of the upcoming week take over.

See those two lines between my eyebrows? Fear left its mark.

I went straight to some prayer partners and found comfort. I was given several verses that I will pack with my other trip essentials. Here's one from my friend Cheri:

 

Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

¹³ For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.

Then I got dressed and I later realized the significance of the shirt I chose. It's a t-shirt from one of my favorite videos by The Skit Guys. It says "Original Masterpiece" on the front and "God doesn't make junk" on the back. How about that? With all our imperfections! We're still a masterpiece and I am reminded to go into this week with confidence, heart and faith.  

You are an Original Masterpiece too!

 Here's a little background and what's in store for the week:

I've been dealing with MS symptoms since 2003 and I've had steady progression. I live with chronic pain and a plethora of other typical MS symptoms but my most pressing issue is the lack of functioning in my right leg. I respect the disease and I've slowed down a good bit to listen to what it's telling me but I'm still an active mom and volunteer who loves and embraces life. It's not in my nature to be passive.

I'm one of the healthiest sick people you may ever meet. In fact, I just had my physical and the doctor was very impressed with my numbers. It looks like I should still be running marathons! This isn't by accident. I work at it! I could teach Dr. Oz a thing or two.

Back in 2009 the work of Dr. Zamboni hit the presses. Many well-meaning friends sent me links to news articles on this CCSVI condition that could have some link to MS. I immediately felt a sense of hope. It wasn't and isn't presented as a cure but a treatment that can provide relief. But then came all the doubt, skepticism, differing opinions and lack of scientific studies to back it up. I thought it sounded interesting but I gave in to all the skepticism and decided to wait. Since then my mobility has become much worse. Recently I met someone who had the procedure and it renewed my interest. I delved into the research and found several places in the U.S. now doing the procedure (before people were traveling to India, Mexico, etc). I was impressed with what I found. A couple of months ago the FDA came out with a warning about the procedure and then I was faced with more doubt and confusion. But the pieces fell into place and I'm going to give it a whirl.

Life is full of uncertainty and risks. You wouldn't believe some of the potential side effects listed on the medical drugs I'm taking (and I'm only taking two drugs at the minimum doses - an injection and one for spasticity). Thousands of people have had this procedure done and many are reporting positive results. It's a roll of the dice but heck, what do I have to lose?

I chose this doctor in Chicago because he's very reputable in the field. My husband Greg would love to come with me but someone needs to hold down the home front! My sister will be my partner in crime. Watch out Windy City, here we come!

I am comforted knowing that I'm going into this week with a lot of prayers and encouragement. I would love to have your prayers too. 

Below are the details for the medical procedure. I would appreciate it so much if you would take a moment to pray over them.

Tuesday, July 24: Fly out of Atlanta to Chicago, meet my sister who is traveling from Texas, take a taxi straight to Rush Hospital for a 2 PM Ultrasound (the diagnostic tool) and consultation with Dr. Arslan.

Wednesday, July 25: 11 am CCSVI Procedure

Thursday, July 26: 8:30 am follow up appointment (another ultrasound and visit with Dr. Arslan) and fly back to Atlanta later that day.


Prayer draws us closer to the light and helps us to march on even when we're scared. Thank you for the prayers!  

Psalm 27

Of David.

¹ The Lord is my light and my salvation —
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid? 

I know what fear looks like. Fear is dark and ugly but a part of us. I have the lines between my eyebrows to prove it. But God doesn't make junk, remember? Lines and all!

A Peach is Worth a Thousand Words

It's been a great summer for peaches! And since I'm on this huge veggie and some fruit kick, well, I'm eating a lot of them. Peaches always bring back fond memories of my grandmother. Is there a food that brings back a memory for you?

Mmm. . .Peaches

My Mom's mother scared me a little. She could be quite stern. She often sat at her dining room table, chain smoking More cigarettes, drinking coffee and reading from one of her many books of family genealogy. She could go on for hours about our family history. Way before the days of caller ID we would reluctantly answer the phone to avoid the litany of our great heritage. You would think we were royalty. In fact, when the grocery store clerk would ask grandmother for ID after writing a check,  she would reply in her wonderful Charlestonian tone of superiority, "young lady, do you know who I am?" Well, it worked. Everyone but my grandmother had to show ID.

She paid her dues faithfully to the Daughters of the American Revolution and could tell you anything about the war between the states (you knew not to call it the Civil War - "there was nothing civil about it.")

When we were younger we called her Granny. Well, one day she couldn't take it anymore and she set us straight. She was NO granny! She was GRANDmother! When granny became grandmother that's when I knew to always take her seriously. But even in her most serious moments she might just be joking. You weren't quite sure. Like when she encouraged us to "snitch" a piece of bacon while breakfast was cooking. Or giving little ol' me a cup of coffee and letting me fill it with lots of cream and sugar until it was just right. 

Grandmother had a caring and sentimental side peaking through her often stern demeanor. Like the time I gave her a pencil for Christmas. She always kept it in a special box on her desk and made me feel like I gave her fine jewels. She adored her sister June and named her only child, my mother, after her. Also, after my parents divorced, she always sent us home with bags of groceries. We never went home empty handed. She loved her animals too. Her Chihuahua was way too good for dog food. She boiled chicken for her spunky, oh so loyal little dog. My grandparents also had a chicken house and she knew how much we loved playing with the baby chicks.

I remember my grandfather Pops as a tall and strong but gentle man. He loved to ride us around their property on his lawn mower. We would walk through the Muscadine groves and eat them right off the vines. And we would sit on the swing outside for what seemed like hours. These memories remind me of a simpler time. When it was okay to just BE. Sometimes I wonder if he was a little scared of  my tiny but mighty grandmother too. 

Sadly, my Pops eventually aged and was too sick to be at home. He went into a nursing home. 

And THIS is where the peaches come in. Grandmother would cut up a large serving bowl of peaches and sprinkle them with sugar. They were so delicious. We carried the peaches to the nursing home and spoon fed them to my dear Pops. The nursing home was very sterile and smelled like a nursing home. The halls were lined with elderly people, some with their hands fastened to their wheel chairs so they wouldn't hurt themselves. They were so happy to see us children and motioned for us to come to them. It felt like we were there for hours visiting with these elderly who were starving for a little attention. Oh, I hope those sweet peaches brought a little joy to my Pops.

Every time I see peaches, every time, I think of my grandmother. My siblings and I spent a lot of time with grandmother and it wasn't always a barrel of fun. But I cherish the sweet memories like this.

I think I'll go eat a peach. 

Notice my grandmother's hair. This was her signature hairdo. Always with two long braids pinned on top of her head.

Joyful Hugs

Ben & Galen on the 13 mile paddle.

My family was off kayaking and camping last week at Cumberland Island. This trip is too difficult for me and this crazy disease. It's a 13 mile kayak over to the campsite, the heat can get bad, there are a lot of ticks and scorpions and snakes, and it's a two mile hike from the campsite to the beach. My husband Greg has gone a couple of years in a row and both times wanted me to go. He's a strong enough paddler to get us both over and he planned to devise a way to carry me to the beach. A human powered vehicle of some sort (aka a litter). Here's what I imagined:

But it would probably be more like this:

Maybe someday I will join them but I decided to sit this one out. Sometimes they were in cell phone range and they sent me pictures through texts and I felt like I was there! Well, sort of. I called it my mobile vacation. It was my way of making the best of not actually being on vacation with my family.

Here's one of my favorite pictures:

My husband wrote "Greg & Marjorie" on their private oasis.

I managed to have some fun back home and got plenty of  R&R. But, I can't explain how much their coming home meant to me. When I spoke to my kids on the phone, they sounded so happy to talk to me. They didn't get home until after 3 am but I got up to greet them and I got the biggest hugs. The next morning, more hugs! I'm not talking side hugs or lean over hugs or pats on the back. I'm talking straight up, warm hugs. Longs hugs that said "I know I'm a teenager and sometimes I can be awful and sometimes you can be a pretty awful mom but you mean the world to me and I missed you so much." Now that is my kind of hug!

If that's what it takes to get one of those kind of hugs again, well, where do you want to go next?

My boys hiking to the beach - Cumberland Island 2012 

Welcome home boys. I missed you! Thank you for the hugs.

Breakfast of Champions

MS like many fun diseases comes with a plethora of diets: The Swank Diet, Montel William's Juicing Diet, Dr. Wahl's Mitochondria Diet (Paleo), The MS Recovery Diet, and more . . . They are all pretty similar. Stop eating junk! BUT, junk is SO good! Me and these diets have been at war over the years. Let's face it, food is part of what makes life fun. Potlucks, BBQs, weddings, parties, holidays, ice cream, a candy bar, popcorn at the movies, etc. Life as we know it tends to center around food that don't fit into the equation of what I call Extreme Healthy Eating. But, I've come around! Why Extreme Healthy Eating? Well, because I think it sounds funny! But you don't have to be extreme. That's just what I'm doing. So, why bother? I mean, I'm disabled. It is what it is, right? Well, who knows? My life choices (including diet) are now allowing me to go into stores and limp around on foot rather than using an electric cart (most of the time). Also, my energy is very good for someone with MS in the heat of summer. I will never know the possible benefits if I don't embrace a healthier lifestyle. The other way, well, like Dr. Phil says, "how's that working for you?" And my answer, not so great! Everyone could benefit from some of the big concepts. In a nut shell, eat TONS of veggies, some fruits, chicken (grass fed if possible) and fish. It helps to have some allies. My husband has been helpful and my chiropractor Dr. Bob and his wife Claire are Extreme Healthy Eaters and have been a huge support. It's really not that bad. I had a tea party yesterday with my sweet nieces. I didn't think there would be anything I could eat. I had a beautiful meal! It's amazing how accommodating restaurants have become. And I went to a movie with a friend the other day and brought my own snacks. I didn't think I could see a movie without eating popcorn. I did and I survived to tell about it. And when I really want some sweets, I go to Gluten Free Cutie in downtown Roswell. It's okay to joke around too. I don't mind my friends razzing me about my diet. Really, look at my breakfast this morning! A smoothie with one apple, a handful of kale, a handful of spinach, a whole carrot, a slice of lime, plant based protein powder, almond milk, water and ice. Even I laughed! But, it wasn't that bad!

We intrerrupt this blog for . . .

. . . a nervous breakdown. Oh man, life sure can get hard and I don't feel up to sharing during those times. You know the saying, this too shall pass? Well, it does. And then something else comes along. It's like the laundry. Once it's all clean, someone takes off some dirty socks and throws them on the floor. If we wait until the laundry is done to be content, it may never happen. So is the moral of this story to find joy in doing the laundry? Maybe. But every day I am grateful to be here marveling at God's beauty. What an honor to be a part of His creation, turmoil and all. He uses trials to refine us. Well, some of us are going to be pretty darn refined! Keep on keeping on folks!

Yard Statues and Healing - sure why not?

You may wish your neighbor didn't have a yard full of gnomes or that bird bath front and center or the crooked, forgotten pink flamingo next to the bushes. When I'm driving in or out of my neighborhood I sometimes think "that's cute" or "that's tacky" or did they really just paint their house honeydew green next to a sage green house (but I digress)? Sometimes, those little yard fellas bring us joy. The statues mentioned above or say a St. Francis statue adorning your garden, a fairy, a cross or a little guy fishing. Below is a rabbit that use to belong to our friends who moved to Canada. Once when they were visiting, I pointed out their old rabbit. How sweet it looks nestled under the trees. When they moved they also gave us some of their plants and I desperately hoped they wouldn't notice the plants didn't make it. But their rabbit did! Thank God it's a statue! Yep, that little statue made us chuckle and makes me smile when I see it lying there so peacefully, not a care in the world.

We moved into our new home almost a year ago. It has a beautiful front and back yard and had several yard ornaments that contributed to the charm that drew me to this house. But the former owners took those heavy babies all the way to Wisconsin. All but one! The Roman lady with her flowing gown near the swing. I think I know why they left her. Um, okay, maybe she's a little tacky. But I'm not ready to part with her quite yet.

Something about her makes me smile too. She seems to be claiming her territory. BUT, the main reason I had to write this blog is to to share with you the ultimate of yard statues. It wouldn't be fair to keep it all to myself (okay and the other folks driving by). Two to three times a week I drive a half an hour from Roswell to Canton for water therapy. Most days I want to go but there are times when I don't. I may be having a bad morning and just want to stay in bed. But I begrudgingly get in the van and start the long trek. I may be distracted by my thoughts or by a morning radio show. I may be singing along to a song or fantasizing about what I want to say to that person who wronged me. I may be deep in prayer or in conversation with God. I may even be crying out of frustration or from feelings of inadequacy or falling into the "why me" dance in my head. No matter, happy or sad, distracted or attentive, these yard statues bring me back home and remind me to smile. In fact, it's become a rule! I can't drive by them without smiling. Yep, there they stand. Three large cows grazing by this fenced in pond. For the longest time I thought they were real. When I realized they were fake, I had to pull over to make sure. I mean really, who puts fake cows in their yard? How can you not smile? I love those cows. They're always there to greet me on my drive to the therapeutic pool in the country. That property happens to be for sale. I sure hope it's a package deal and the cows are included!

Each smile brings a little bit of healing. I'm pretty sure smiles in the midst of distractions or sadness or trials bring even greater healing. What are some little things that make you smile? Embrace them!

You might fall, do it anyway!

We took our annual trip to Ormond Beach over Spring Break. My boys love to take me into the ocean. They think it's funny to see me scream each time the water hits me. Other than this sick fascination of seeing how I'm going to react, there's something sweet about them wanting me to share in the experience.

The water can be pretty cold and rough in this area. Every day I made a point of getting in and this is no easy task! My MS affects the right side of my body. My hand has little strength and my leg and foot are like limp noodles with very little functioning. My husband would give me a piggy back ride down to our favorite spot. People jumped in to help and I joked that it takes a village to get me to the beach. Then, I hobbled down to the water with my son and the real adventure began.

I stopped getting pedicures years ago because when someone or something touches my foot, my leg goes into a spasm and it takes on a mind of its own. After I kicked the lady giving me that last pedicure, who had no idea what MS was even after I told her, I decided ugly toes weren't all that bad. So, when the cold water hits my feet, I scream and my leg goes into a spasm. It's a little bit of torture. So why the heck do it? Well, for a few reasons. One, my boys love to see me in the water. Two, I'm fascinated by how my body responds. Three, once I'm totally submerged it gets better. And lastly, in a weird kind of way, although it's a little scary and even a little painful, it's fun!

The first few days weren't too bad. But our last day at the beach the waters were very rough. The surfers were out in full force that morning and the waters remained pretty rough throughout the day. I watched my family as I sat there soaking up Vitamin D from the sun (Vitamin D is very good for MS but heat isn't - hmm??). I had this conversation in my head and sometimes my thoughts would seep out into words so my husband could hear them. "Oh, I don't know, I really want to go out there, it looks fun but it looks really rough, I think I'll skip today . . . Oh no, maybe I'll try it . . . no, I better not. . . maybe if I had a life jacket . . . nah, I'll just people watch today . . . but I sure want a little piece of the action . . . it looks fun . . . kind of fun . . . maybe not that fun . . . some people really shouldn't wear string bikinis . . . geesh . . . oh look at that water . . . wouldn't my son be impressed if his mom went out there in this crazy water . . . but I might make a fool of myself . . . well, it wouldn't be the first time . . . oh I'm going to do it . . . nah, no I'm not." This conversation went on for probably over an hour and then I said it out loud. I said it, and I meant it: "let's do it, let's go in the ocean."

So yea, going into the ocean is fun. Going into the crazy rough ocean with only one functioning leg, hilarious! We crept down to the water. The water hit my toes and I squealed at the initial shock of the cold water. I held onto my husband for dear life. We were taking the boogie board so that I could use it in the deeper waters. I used the boogie board in my left hand to keep me steady and I held onto Greg with my right hand. We began making our way into the ocean when the first big wave hit and the boogie board was knocked out of my hand. Oh no! Greg had to get the boogie board and he would have to let go of me. But I didn't want to fall. Well, it would only be for a few seconds. Greg let go and lunged for the boogie board but right then the wave hit me and bam, I went down! I was laughing hysterically and Greg didn't even know yet. He turned around and asked me what happened. He then tried to pull me up and another wave hit. Now we were both laughing. I couldn't get up. The waves were rushing in one after another. He finally got me up and the boogie board went flying again. Oh Lord! What to do? He says: "don't fall, I'll be right back!" Okay, feet wide a part, steady. I made it this time! I'm sure we made for some good people watching!

We made our way out to the deeper waters. The waves were unforgiving and I got pretty beat up. Greg got into a routine of holding my feet while I laid on the board and rode the waves. I even rode a couple of waves all the way in. It was a blast. Scary! Oh, so scary! But fun! I fell. I got beat up a little. But I lived and it was exhilarating.

So what's holding you back? I was scared but I did it anyway. I'm not always that brave BUT today I was. I'm glad I made that choice to go in the ocean. How about you? What are you going to do despite that little voice? Go for it!

Take the Plunge to Keep on Moving!

My friend Ann from church took me to see Dr. Sharon for a massage. Little did I know where that massage would lead me. Turns out Dr. Sharon also does therapeutic work in the water. I've tried water exercise before but weakness in my right hand makes getting into swim suits difficult and I get SO cold - like shivering uncontrollably cold. Then I discovered this little pool hidden away in Canton, Georgia. Dr. Sharon keeps it nice and warm and encouraged me to wear whatever worked. So, I did! And I do!

Two or Three times a week I make the half an hour trek to the pool and I work with Dr. Sharon doing all kinds of therapeutic exercises. Recently we started swimming laps. I love that! That's why I'm wearing the silly mask. So yeah, while everyone else is in swim suits, I show up in my bike type shorts, swim shirt and my swim mask. Hot!

Visiting in the pool is always fun. Everyone is there overcoming various obstacles: cancer, fibromyalgia, MS, back problems, arthritis, etc. But everyone shares the determination to keep showing up, keep moving and I think there's an unspoken rule to keep on laughing! Some of the ladies tell me how much I'm improving and how well I'm walking. That always makes me smile. It's an encouraging atmosphere.

I haven't been able to dance or jump up and down for years. But in the water I can do those things. I don't care how stupid I look. Sometimes I just like to dance and shake my booty and do lots of jumping jacks - just because I can! There are some things I still can't do in the water, like hamstring curls or lifting my right leg into a march or a run. But that doesn't stop me. Dr. Sharon still has me do it. Apparently my brain doesn't know any better and thinks I'm doing it!

Several months ago a drunk driver ran into the pool house. That was crazy! We've been re-routed to another entrance, up a different ramp now for months. It's been an ongoing conversation and headache for Dr. Sharon. But this too shall pass (just not soon enough).

The music is always cranking and rain or shine we're there busting some moves. Come and join us sometime!

Kayaking with MS

Okay, I'm finally blogging about our trip to the Everglades! December 27, 2011 - January 3, 2012. Good times!

BMS - Before Multiple Sclerosis, I enjoyed a lot of kayaking, camping and adventure sports. Because of my disability, I wrote off most of the activities I use to cherish. But, if you read my "Craggy Thanksgiving" blog back in November you'll recall that my husband proved to me I could still do some of what I love. That is, if I allowed others to help me.

I had every reason under the sun not to go on this trip including some recent family challenges. But I went and in hindsight I'm glad I did. Hindsight because at the time, well, it was a little scary. Most people with MS will understand my biggest fear - potty time! Yep, all the what ifs. . . kayaking for hours at a time, five nights and six days with no plumbing and no way to predict what my body was going to do. Certainly there were a few times I said to Greg "this will probably be my last camping trip" as I held on to a tree for dear life. But, I can't think of a prettier place to be stuck in fear. And guess what? It all turned out fine.

I would paddle and rest, paddle and rest and mostly rested - taking in the immense beauty and peacefulness. Thankfully my husband is a very strong paddler and didn't need me to help power the boat. Once on the beaches, Greg and my older son Galen took turns piggy-back riding me from place to place. I wasn't able to contribute much but I enjoyed watching my kids fish, kayak, make fires and enjoy themselves.

Watching my boys fish makes me smile!

Campsite at Tiger Key.

Marjorie enjoying the scenery.

We saw this huge group of White American Pelicans on the paddle out. Gorgeous!

Other than potty time, the biggest challenges were getting in and out of the kayak, in and out of the tent, dragging my right leg through the thick sand, and taking my daily shot in a tent. Thankfully the blessings far outweighed the challenges or maybe the challenges gave more meaning to the blessings. The blessings: the clear night skies, open water beauty, dolphins, fish galore, birds galore, beautiful weather, a huge sea turtle passing through, private beaches all to ourselves, allowing myself to be cared for by others, watching my boys fish for hours, being entertained by two adorable little kiddos who were with us, having time to journal and read, the solar charger for my iphone and having occasional range to share a picture on Facebook, Amy washing my hair (oh that felt good), warm campfires, mosquito nets, and a very loving husband, sons and friends who were willing to do whatever it took to include me.

Thank you for this beautiful trip.