The 29-Day Giving Challenge

I had the pleasure of spending some time with Cami Walker, New York Times Bestselling author of 29 Gifts, How a Month of Giving Can Change your Life. Cami was in the Atlanta area for a week's worth of events. In the true spirit of giving, within the first few minutes of our meeting, she gave me a signed copy of her book.  A few days later I attended an intimate tea with Cami and twelve other fabulous ladies (pictured above).  I was especially fascinated to hear her story because Cami also struggles with Multiple Sclerosis.

This is an inspirational book full of gems. Visit the website at 29gifts.org to learn more. You can set up a personal blog and journal about your experiences and share in the community of giving. Today is day ONE of The 29-Giving Challenge for me. 

Here are a few of my favorite lines from the book:

Autographed inscription:
Marjorie, Good Giving = Good Living
You are a gift! Cami Walker

"[when giving] You're putting your consciousness on what you have to offer the world instead of what is scarce." p. 73 

". . . giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other." p. 139

And while I believe giving anonymously is important too, I agree with Cami that for this giving ritual, it's more about mindfulness and developing a conscious habit of reaching out to others. P. 155

"When I am in service to another person, I am moving from a place of self-centeredness to selflessness. The act of giving inherently carries gratitude in it. For me, it is impossible to give without feeling grateful." P. 216

This last year, I have been a front row student of receiving and feeling immense gratitude. I will write more about that in future blogs. Stay tuned!

Do you believe good giving = good living? Give it a try!

The Great Shoe Give Away

I have virtually no feeling in my right foot. It's like a wet noodle. It's difficult to limp in certain shoes: no flip-flops, no heels, no clogs, and no shoes without backs. I love shoes and had a closet full of various styles. Each pair of shoes represented a part of me. Letting go of those shoes represented letting go a part myself and it represented giving into MS.

There are times in our lives that we are being called to change. Called to transformation. But often there is resistance. Often for good reason. I liked the old me! Those trail running shoes represented a time when I could escape and run free. Those stylish boots represented a time when I could get out on the dance floor and dance the night away. Those heels represented a time when I looked hip and stylish. Those sandals represented a part of me that was more carefree, strolling along the beach.

I wasn't ready to give that up. I was pretty sure I could beat this. I'm naturally competitive and planned on winning. I was fighting for the old Marjorie. Eventually I realized it wasn't about fighting. That metaphor wasn't working for me anymore. My opponent or contender became my teacher. I don't always like my teacher and I still find myself fighting at times. The lessons aren't always easy and my teacher was telling me I had to let go of that part of me. So, why not have some fun with it?

I did something I love to do and threw a big party. I created a Facebook Event called The Great Shoe Give Away. I put out about fifty shoes lined up around my dining room. I invited a bunch of friends for wine and cookies and free shoe shopping! I could have sold the shoes and given the money to charity. I could have donated them for a tax write off. But, this was more fun! It was even fun for those who didn't wear a size 8 shoe.

It was hard letting go of those shoes but it gave me joy sharing them. It didn't mean that MS won. It didn't mean that I gave into MS. Guess what? If tomorrow I'm miraculously healed, it means I get to go out and buy all new shoes!

Do you have some old shoes? Is it time to let go of something to make room for something new? 

My New Theme Song

My friend Amy put this video on my Facebook wall after I got my stair lift. Love it!

My church small group is reading the book Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Dr. Richard A. Swenson. We're still early on in the book but it's already hitting home. Swenson says, "We must have some room to breathe. We need freedom to think and permission to heal. Our relationships are being starved to death by velocity. No one has the time to listen, let alone love. Our children lay wounded on the ground, run over by our high-speed good intentions. Is God now pro-exhaustion? Doesn't He lead people beside the still waters anymore?"

We have little room left for margin. If you don't take time to create margin in your life, it may be created for you. Why not beat it to the punch line? I'm creating margin out of pure necessity.  For example, I have to sit down to dress myself now. I'm utterly amused by how long it takes to put on my right shoe. Today, just for the heck of it, sit down and slowly put on your shoes. Examine how your foot responds or doesn't respond and how all of the parts work to make that shoe get on your foot. Then, take a deep breath and be thankful.

Now, I hum this song from the movie Up as I slowly progress up and down my stairs. Carl doesn't seem particularly joyful about his situation but his pace is interesting contrasted to the very end of the video where he's shown in the middle of an ever-changing fast paced world that is losing its margin. Who is better off? What can we learn from this?

Too Brilliant Not To Share

Holy Moly, I've been contemplating a blog for years. I wake up with brilliant thoughts that NEED to be shared and then I get to my computer and forget all of them. Nada. It's part of MS or maybe it's living with too much junk in my head. Then I contemplate the usual, you've heard it, "I don't care who reads it, this will be my online journal."

BMS = Before Multiple Sclerosis

I met my husband playing Ultimate. I watched and observed Ultimate for a long time before playing. I visualized myself catching, throwing and diving. I studied the sport. And FINALLY started playing. I wasn't that good but I sure had fun.

I did the same with mountain biking. I was asked to do my first adventure race in 1999. I was already road cycling and had pretty good endurance. I purchased books and videos and studied the sport and to my surprise, I wasn't bad. Then kayaking. I studied the sport, watched videos, and took classes. And rock climbing. And kids. And let's not forget: PTA president, running a swim team, sitting on numerous boards, having my kids in a gazillion activities, team mom, class mom and more. It's no wonder my body cried "UNCLE!"

PMS = Post Multiple Sclerosis

MS told me I needed a break from ultimate, cycling, running, hiking and climbing. I needed a break from all the things I love! Huh? The things that defined me. Crap! Now what?

One thing BMS and PMS that didn't change is my faith. Sure, I've ranted and raved, questioned and cried out but there's no way I could walk through this valley without Him. 

I'm adjusting to a life BMS to a life PMS. A life of Hyper-doing to a life of Hyper-being. Even if I'm miraculously cured today, life will never be the same. Part of this journey involves letting go. Today, I'm letting go and opening up about this journey. 

Handicap Parking Dilemmas

I was diagnosed with MS in March 2005. I've had steady progression with weakness in my right leg and right side of my body. It started with an occasional limp, then dragging the foot, to pulling the right hip up and pulling my limp leg up and over. I KNEW I would soon overcome this because I am a very positive and proactive person.  I recall slumping my shoulders and asking the nurse practitioner, "at what point does one ask for one of those things that hang from the rear view mirror?" Yes, the dreaded handicap decal. And eventually my "Share the Road" cycling license plate was replaced with a "handicap" license plate.

At first I felt guilty parking there. I wouldn't take a spot unless there were at least three other spots. What if someone MORE handicap needs parking? Now, I'm annoyed when there aren't any handicap parking spots! How the heck am I supposed to get from here to there?  A walk to the mailbox looks like an eternity and I've lost count of the number of falls I've taken. And this coming from the person who hiked the John Muir Trail on my honeymoon (225 miles) and use to do multi-day adventure races! 

The other day I pulled up to a handicap spot in a crowded recreational park. I had my window rolled down and the maintenance man heard me say to my son, "this looks like a good spot." He replied "Oh no mam, that's a handicap spot." I smiled really big and said "I know I don't look handicap, but I am." When he saw me struggle to get out he came over and apologized and helped us get the scooter out of the back. I didn't mind. It's kind of like when you're 30 and someone asks to see your ID before buying alcohol. Of course, I wonder, what does it LOOK like to be handicap? 

The other day I went for yet another medical procedure and the disabled parking area was close to the entrance and there was no charge for that one area. Hot dog! I felt like I won the lottery. VIP parking!

Of course my overactive mind thinks constantly about what to call myself. I'm not crazy about labels. I've explained to my kids where the term "handicap" came from - a "crippled" person would sit on the sidewalk with their cap / hat reached out for money, begging. They just pulled out that Handy Cap and made a day of it. Well heck, I'm not a beggar. Then once I saw a license plate that read "DISABLED" but the person put a line through the "DIS" part. Does that mean some people will be offended if I say disabled?  And honestly, there are times I feel like the most ABLE person around! 

Aw shucks, call me whatever you want - just say it with a smile!