What about Betty?

This morning, after showering, I went to get some clothes and I took the mother of all falls. It was one of the worst I've taken. Once I lose my footing, it's timmmmberrrrrr! I wasn't able to brace myself and I face planted. My head jarred and my body lay limp on the floor. I yelled at the top of my lungs for Greg and he came running. My youngest son Ben did too. Since I was in a towel, Greg quickly closed the door. Poor Ben. No one should have to see their mother like that! (There will be NO pictures for this part of the blog.)

I had an "I'm so angry at God moment." In the midst of my tears came questions of WHY? "Do you hate me God?" "What did I do to deserve this?" "Why won't my damn leg work?"  "It's so unfair!" "I hate MS!" It hurt so much!

Now, I'm not looking for sympathy. Well, maybe I am. But what happened next turned my tears of hurt and fear into tears of a guilt for my rampage with God and then tears of comfort and the realization that even though I fell, there was protection. God had not abandoned me.  As I lay on the floor, Greg quickly assessed my body (not because I was naked but to make sure I was okay) and then he got a pillow for me and gently put my head on the pillow. He then covered me with a blanket and sat next to me holding my hand as I recovered. He just sat with me quietly holding my hand. I felt very comforted.

Then I realized how "lucky" I was to fall where I did. First, I fell on top of an area rug in a carpeted room (I'll take falling on carpet over concrete or tile any day). Then I realized that my head took a fast and hard hit no more than half an inch from the corner of the dresser. It's a flat out miracle that I didn't hit it. And Greg was on the other side of the house doing dishes and has poor hearing in one ear BUT he heard my call right away. 

I realized, while I was shaken up, I would survive and it could have been so much worse. I don't fall as much lately because I use a walker. Betty is my walker. She's been a huge help! But I have a love / hate relationship with Betty. She keeps me from walking on my own BUT she helps me walk without falling. AND I am WAY TOO YOUNG to need Betty. So I joke that I'm the poster child of MS as I do my best Vanna White showing off Betty. Sometimes Betty is the ugly step-child who gets left in the car or at home because I'm still a little embarrassed by her. But then I'm desperately grabbing for the nearest wall, tree, arm, car or whatever is closest to me for stability. Um, not sure which is worse.

Betty

So I pondered, as Greg helped me up from the floor, why I left Betty behind. Then I realized Betty is my friend. Finally, I recited Psalm 23 to myself, as we often do when we're in the valley, and I remember that our "Rod and Staff" come in many forms.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Today, I was reminded and comforted that His rod and staff were there. Thank you Greg for being one of His vessels and thank you Lord for your protection. Last but not least, thank you Betty. 

Worst Parenting Moment Ever - Spoiler Alert - Don't read if under age 12

Gosh, there are so many awful parenting moments to choose from but this one goes down in history as an all time low. My oldest son was in Kindergarten and lost a tooth. How exciting! Right? Yes, it was BUT the tooth fairy forgot to come. Well, many parents will tell you that's not unusual. But what happened next snowballed into an uncontrollable nightmare.

My son came to me so disappointed that the tooth fairy didn't come. I've never been quick on my toes and didn't think to say the obvious "Oh that happens all the time, he/she must have been very busy and will surely come tonight." Rather, I panicked for an immediate solution. I grabbed a dollar bill and when my son went into the hallway bathroom to brush his teeth, I quickly went to his bed and stuck it under his pillow. I was going to tell him how he just missed it and it was there all along. BUT, he caught me putting the dollar under the pillow. Oh no! Again, not being quick on my toes, what came out of my mouth next may have been the worse possible thing one could ever tell a five year old. I forgot for a moment that he was five and thought he could handle the truth.  "I'm sorry sweetie, the truth is, there isn't really a tooth fairy. I'm the tooth fairy." WHAT WAS I THINKING?

The dam opened and the tears and cries of woe were heart wrenching. What did I just do? Can this be repaired? After what seemed like an eternity of heartbreak (it was probably two minutes) I panicked again and recanted my story. "I'm SO sorry sweetie. I don't know what I was thinking. I couldn't think of why the tooth fairy forgot to come and so I made that up. It's not true. It's not true at all! There really is a tooth fairy. He / she must have forgotten and I panicked. I was only playing tooth fairy this one time. I'm sure it will never happen again." The tears began to dry up and with some hesitation, he believed me. Maybe he was relieved or maybe I just interpreted it that way.

We walked to school and I pulled over his Kindergarten teacher, Miss McCallie. She was the most precious teacher in the whole world and sadly we later lost her to breast cancer. But Miss McCallie could fix anything! I told her of my parenting blunder, she agreed it was a whopper and told me she would make the day extra special for him. And of course, she did.

I then went home to call my son's godmother Althea. I could always count on her for sympathy for my parental blunders and mishaps. But this time, I didn't get any sympathy! I messed up for sure! Then I called my Dad who has also been a great support when I screwed up in the parenting department and even he responded with an "Oh no!" and went on to explain how important childhood fantasies are (he's a psycho-analyst). Well, sometimes there's no getting around it. We screw up and it is what it is!

Thankfully the tooth fairy remembered to come that night and things seemed to be okay the next day. Now that my kids are older, we laugh about it. I only hope I didn't cause any permanent psychological damage! Oh my!

I'll save the disastrous story of when he was eight and I was in a huge rush and had him pump the gas for me later. FYI - there's a reason there are signs that say you must be 16 to pump gas!

Ahhh. . . parenting. . . not for the faint at heart.

MS Service Day and other Blessings - My Heart Runneth Over

I'm way behind with my blogging. But I need to share with you about the MS Service Day back in early March. It was amazing! The MS Society teamed up with Home Depot. There were about 30 Home Depot volunteers (all managers, district managers, etc) who took time for this day of service. Six hours of non-stop work. Some of the projects: re-roofed the gazebo in backyard, fixed a whole in the wall, fixed an unattractive TV area by replacing an entire wall, pulled bolts from kitchen ceiling and repainted, updated fixtures in bathroom, installed handicap bars in master bathroom, installed a handicap friendly (taller) toilet, installed a new lock on the front door, built railings coming in from the garage, built a ramp, repaired our fence and gate, planted flowers, did touch up painting, and helped clean and organize. Friends also came out and our friends at Phish Phood catering provided food and drinks for everyone. It was a beautiful day and we felt very blessed.

Thank you to all the volunteers who came out to work and support this awesome day!  Below are pictures from the MS Day of service back in early March. It was freezing but that didn't stop anyone from coming out and working their tails off.

Planting flowers and cutting back trees.

Even several friends with MS came out to serve. My dear friend Jeanne.

Caterer and Friend who delivered and picked up food and drinks for the day. Love you Terry and Dave of Phish Phood.

Building a ramp.

A gift from the MS Society - as if they hadn't already done enough!

Most of the volunteer crew.

Yes! What a Difference a Day Makes! This is our house captain who totally rocked!

Let me also thank friends who are constantly helping me and my family through my challenges with Multiple Sclerosis. My mobility is very limited now and my husband and sons do a lot, but can only do so much. Friends are constantly helping me by bringing meals, planting flowers, helping to clean, organize, decorate and most importantly, shop! The shopping part is always a huge help! We are so blessed to live in a community of such loving and giving people.

My BSF Bible Study ladies have really stepped up too and are not just studying the word BUT living the word. Just recently five ladies came out to help me plant flowers, decorate, clean and organize for an upcoming graduation party at my house. BSF friends have also helped me pack, move, unpack, and hang pictures. They have blessed me in our study and in their ongoing care, concern and assistance. Let me also say how accommodating BSF has been to my special needs by making sure I have a more convenient classroom and seating during lecture. They accommodate others equally well. It's very hard to get to my Tuesday morning class but I look forward to starting my sixth year of BSF in the Fall.

Ahhh. . . Truly, my heart runneth over . . .

Happy Valentine's Day

I haven't felt like sharing in a long time. Today, I'm experiencing such a wide range of emotions and I feel moved to share. I'm writing this on the fly so surely it will be full of typos and mistakes.

First thing this morning, I checked the Caringbridge site to check on my friend John. I knew it was coming and sure enough, the message was there. He passed away peacefully yesterday evening surrounded by his family. I shed many a tear. Then I thought about how appropriate it was to get this message the morning of Valentine's Day because John's death is a symbol of true love. His wife Becky has been sharing their daily experience with us on Caringbridge.  It's been beautiful and an honor to be part of their journey and battle with cancer. Many of us have shared their pain and laughs along the way. She has shared openly the difficult and painful moments along with the beautiful moments knowing John's life here on earth may be coming to an end. I still can't believe John rode 100 miles last September for the Bike MS Ride. He's amazing. I was blessed to see him twice in the last month and shared some laughs, held his hand and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He and Becky, by sharing this experience, have reminded us of what truly is important. I gave my kids and hubby extra big hugs this morning. We love you John. Rest in Peace my friend.

My buddy John and me at the Bike MS Atlanta Ride

The range of emotions continued with an action packed morning sending my boys off with hugs and valentines.  I felt a sense of pride that my older son puts great care into gifts for his girlfriend. My heart was warmed with beautiful flowers and gifts from my husband. But then, Greg and I sat down to read our cards. The other day I went to Greg with a card I had found on a shelf over a year ago. I told Greg that he must have bought it for me and lost it and bought another. But why not save the time and money and use that card. After all, he had once put the time into picking it out. So, he did.

I opened the card and smiled. Ah, the card! "Oh, I think you're supposed to remove the plastic." We laughed. Then I read it out loud:

You are the heart and soul at the center of my world . . . my lover and very best friend. And you have all my love. Merry Christmas.

We couldn't stop laughing. Neither of us had realized it was a Christmas card until I read that. Oh my!

My Valentine's Day Card with a Valentine's Day Poinsettia

My friend John was awesome and funny and I know he would have loved that story! So, John, I dedicate that story to you.

Give extra hard hugs today and every day. Cherish every moment. 

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!